Low Budget Productions Proudly Presents,
A Starfall Comics Comic:
Swamp Patrol
#18: The Swamp Patrol Revenge Squad
Continuity Breakdowns, part one
cover: Seven gaudily dressed supervillains standing in front of a bank, hostages tied up behind them. On the ground before the supervillains, you can see the shadows of seven people who are standing off-panel.
Nazareth National Bank
Allentown, PA
Nemo watched his erstwhile comrades-in-arms from his position on the top of a desk.
"Are you sure they're gonna show?" Kingfisher was asking, stroking his harpoon gun and glancing nervously between the front door, the hostages, and his teammates.
"Of course," The Angle replied, taking a deep drag on his cigarette. "I've planned the angle perfectly. The cops can't do anything about us, and I've made our demands quite clear. Give us the Swamp Patrol or the hostages die."
"Hey Shelley, check this out." Pete gestured at the tv.
On the screen, an on-the-scene reporter was explaining how seven costumed criminals had robbed the bank and taken the employees and customers hostage. Their demands were odd -- they wanted something, or someone, called the Swamp Patrol. Authorities had been unable to determine just what the Swamp Patrol was.
"Think they mean us?" Pete asked.
Shelley shrugged. "I can't think of why. But I can't think of anybody who they could mean."
"Maybe we should check it out."
"I keep telling you, they're gonna show!" What little could be seen of The Angle's face was turning red as he shouted.
"And I keep telling you it's been three fucking hours and they haven't even admitted they exist yet! I say we toast a hostage and show them we mean business."
Hocus Pocus grabbed Touchstone's arm. "Look, calm down," she said. "The important thing to do here is keep our cool. They're probably just playing mind games with us to try and make us fall apart from the inside."
Touchstone glared at her. "Listen, lady," he hissed, "I don't know if you've seen our future in your little crystal ball or something, but I'm telling you if we don't show them we mean business, they ain't gonna come."
Double X-Posure stepped between them, put a pair of hands on each of their shoulders. "Come on now," he said, separating the two of them. "This is just the sort of infighting they're trying to start. What's important is that we not lose sight of our goal."
"Yeah," Obsidian Fist said, "getting rid of those bastards the Swamp Patrol." He punctuated his sentence by putting his fist through a nearby cubicle wall.
Double X-Posure glanced at Obsidian Fist from both sides of the bank. "Indeed."
Frank picked up the phone on the first ring. Inspector Carruthers was on the other end.
"Yes, Inspector?"
The man's voice sounded strained. "I need you guys to come down here. But keep it low profile -- the other guys don't know I'm asking you to do this."
"What is it?"
"I think they want you. They mentioned Arsenal -- that's what you call Ted, right?"
"Called," Frank corrected, glancing at the young man who sat watching television. "He's just Ted now. Again."
"Well, they mentioned him by name, and... Doppelgänger? I know you guys have no clue what they'd want you for, but if I can just get you to come down here and maybe draw them out..."
"You want us to be the bait," Frank said. Donna looked up.
"In a way," Carruthers said. "Can I count on you?"
Frank made eye contact with Donna. "Yes, you can. This is what being heroes is about, right?"
"Right. Thanks."
Carruthers hung up, and Frank did likewise. Donna had come over to stand beside him. "Inspector Carruthers wants us to go down to the bank. Seems the criminals mentioned Arsenal and Doppelgänger by name as members of the Swamp Patrol." Ted started forward. "I told him we'd do it."
"What?" Janice asked. "Are you insane? Those guys have guns, and super powers, and they want to kill people."
"Including those people in the bank. Now, we've been through just as bad before -- and this time the threat to other people is a whole lot more immediate. But like I said before, anyone who wants to back out of heroing and admit they were just playing at it can leave now."
Janice looked at her friends. "And they say peer pressure's dying off. Fine, let's do it."
"Alright, I've had it! Six hours is long enough to wait for a bunch of cowards to show their faces!" Touchstone grabbed a hostage by the shirtfront. "I'm going to show them we mean business."
Hocus Pocus looked at Nemo, who shrugged. Mumbling prayers under her breath, the young witch chased after Touchstone.
The seven of them had no difficulty sneaking across the police barricades erected around the bank. Allentown police had little experience with anything obviously metahuman, and they were too busy focusing their attentions on the situation in the bank itself to keep people from crossing the barricade if they were careful about it.
Luckily, most of the citizens of Allentown had something of an instinct toward self-preservation, or maybe even common sense, and were nowhere within the vicinity of the potentially explosive situation. Except, of course, for the seven young adults Inspector Carruthers had asked to come down.
Carruthers had separated himself from the body of police officers at the scene, and was able to head them off before the cops saw them.
"I'm glad you could make it," he said, ushering them into a side alley out of view of the police.
"So what's the plan?" Frank asked.
Carruthers looked at the seven. "You're sure you want to do this?"
"We don't have a choice," Janice said.
"Alright." He handed Frank a megaphone. "When I give the signal, you guys are supposed to head out there and tell the robbers you're here and that you want to go inside. It's an old bank, so it doesn't have one of those giant windows in the front -- they won't be able to see you until you've gotten into the building, which keeps them from realizing something's wrong."
"But what if my voice --"
"Give it to Arsen -- Ted, sorry. Give it to Ted, and let him do the talking. I figure if any of you will sound like whoever it is they want, it's got to be the one with the same name."
"Alright," Frank said, handing the megaphone to Ted. "Then what?"
"We're going to be sending you in with a couple of tear gas grenades."
"Tear gas? Won't that be hard on the hostages?"
"Yeah, but we've got to get them out somehow. If we could have just shot it in there in the first place this whole mess would be over."
"Sounds a bit too much like Rambo for me," Janice muttered.
"I'm sorry?"
"Nothing, Inspector."
"Once the grenade goes off, you guys high tail it out of there. You'll be right at the front door so that shouldn't be a problem."
"And if the tear gas doesn't work?" Brill asked.
Carruthers took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. "Then we're screwed."
Frank looked at everyone. "I guess we'll do it, then."
"Alright. Remember, on my sig--"
His sentence was cut off by the sound of shattering glass. Everyone looked up to see a man in an outfit like something out of a comic book, holding one of the hostages above the ground with one hand.
Henry Burroughs had disliked banks all of his life. It had started when he was four and holding a balloon that burst as he waited in line with his mother. Everyone had ducked down on the floor and the security guards had pulled out their guns and Henry had wanted to cry because his balloon was gone and so many people were scared and angry and shouting and some of the grown-ups were crying too. Were they sad his balloon was gone?
But that was forty years ago, and when his wife had asked him to go deposit a cheque for their daughter's college fund he'd said okay, even though he didn't really like banks and hadn't figured out how to use the automated teller. Even if the line-up was long, it would only be a couple of hours out of his life. Not that much, he had told himself.
The first bang had made him think maybe some small boy or girl was going to suffer the same thing he had four decades ago, but when he looked around for the child instead he saw seven people in Hallowe'en costumes. He knew he'd had a good reason to dislike banks.
How long had they been waiting in there? Six hours. Not that much.
The ground looked different at this height -- too tall to be standing, too low to be flying in an airplane or even looking out a second floor window.
Oh, he knew what was coming next. He wasn't deaf. He'd always wanted to be a hero, but when his chance had finally come he hadn't done it. He wasn't sure if he wished he could say goodbye to his wife, or if he was relieved she didn't see him in the one moment he could have shined and didn't.
At least... at least no little children had had to go through what he went through. Not that day.
"I told you we were serious!" Touchstone was shouting. "See what happens when you don't give us what we want?"
"Jesus, Touchstone!" Hocus Pocus said, grabbing the villain and dragging him away from the body, away from the police who had not yet reached for their weapons. "What the Hell do you think you're doing?"
"Showing them we mean business."
"Committing murder!" Double X-Posure said. "You have any idea how much shit we're in now?"
"Not we," the Angle said. "You." He pointed at Touchstone. "You killed a hostage without thinking. You've ruined the whole angle, and I, for one, am out of here." He started to punch buttons into the device on his wrist, and a swirling portal appeared on the floor two steps ahead of him. "See ya," he said, taking one last drag on his cigarette before jumping into the portal.
"That's great for him," Kingfisher said as the portal closed up. "But what about us? How do the rest of us get out of being pegged with what this freak did?"
Touchstone snarled and lunged towards Kingfisher, but he stopped and hung in mid-air well before he got there.
"I've had enough of all of this," Nemo said, climbing down off the desk. "You kids have your fun and decide what to do with him." He slid through the wall as Touchstone fell to the ground, unconscious.
"I think I know what to do," Double X-Posure said.
The limp body of the murderer crashed through the front wall of the bank.
"What the--?" Carruthers asked. "Let's get in there! Get cuffs on that creep! Move!" The police swarmed into the bank as the criminals escaped through the back. Carruthers glanced at the young men and women he had asked to come. "I guess you guys can go."
"Thanks," Frank said. He turned to the others just as Touchstone began to stir.
"Crap. I hope his cuffs hold," Carruthers said.
Touchstone's eyes flew open as he realized what had happened. "Bastards!" he cursed, although whether it was at his former allies or the police wasn't clear.
"Uh, let's get out of here," Janice said.