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A young man, dressed in what appeared to be the programs' electrosuit from the movie TRON dragged an unconscious black-furred woman through the door.
"Dropping off or picking up?" Fred asked.
"Dropping off."
"Fine." Fred handed the young man a stack of paperwork. "Fill all these out in triplicate, and wait here until an LNHer can take a break from their various plots and sub-plots to see you."
Carrying the pile of paperwork over to a chair, Keyan Gerrig formed a pencil from his VRsuit, and started writing.
"TRY THE PHONE BOOK!" CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE hollered, rattling several storefronts. The trio were sitting outside Guido's Pizza Pit, munching on a meat-lover's stuffed pizza. Around them, several other net.heroes looked at them curiously, wondering if they should help or fight their former teammates.
"The phone book, CAP?" Betty asked her large companion. "Why would a net.villain be listed in the phone book?"
"Looniversal Logic," Dr. Stomper stated, leaning over from his table. "The laws of drama require that all net.villains have a listing in the phone book under both their real name and their aliases."
"Thanks, Doc," IMWNL told him. "Do you have a phone book handy?"
"No," Stomper stated. "But Pocket Man here does. Which pocket is that in, Pock?"
"Right here," Pocket Man stated, pulling out an oversized phone book from an inside pocket. "No, wait... that's the Net.York book."
Several dozen phone books later, Pocket Man produced one marked 'Net.ropolis and Surrounding Areas'. "Hope this helps. Better get out of here fast, though. Word is, the Ninja's got a mad-on for you guys, and he likes his daily pizza fresh in about five minutes."
"Thanks, PM. We owe you one."
"Don't mention it."
Gathering up their drinks, the trio left a wad of bills on the table, then ran out onto the street, barely missing the Ninja.
A man dressed as a large black insect, with a red antennaed helmet, boots, and gloves, with gold wings and trim, crashed through the window of the coffee house.
"Give me java, and lots of it, and nobody gets hurt!"
"Java?" one of the waitresses asked.
"Yeah! Java! Coffee! You know, the black stuff! GIVE IT TO ME!"
Warily handing the man a cup of coffee, the waitress pondered her options. She could easily let this man drink all the coffee he wanted, so long as he paid. If he didn't pay... well, for once, she wished that Net.a Scotia hadn't passed the anti-net.hero law.
"JAVABUG!"
The voice was menacingly clear. It was a voice that could command armies, if it so wished. It was a voice everybody in the coffee house knew well, if only from television. A man dressed in dark red and lavender, carrying a red horned helmet, stepped through the door. With his entrance, the place went deathly silent.
"Lagneto." This was whispered by the waitress.
"JavBug," Lagneto commanded. "I have need of your caffeine-enhanced abilities. In return, you will be able to drink all the coffee, tea, or soda cola you can handle, without resorting to this ... petty scheme."
"I'lldoit!"
"What about his bill?!" the waitress asked.
"Oh, yes." He tossed her a wad of bills. "Keep the change. Come, JavaBug, and meet the rest of the Brotherhood."
The waitress looked at the roll of bills Lagneto had tossed her. The artist made sure to draw it as a close-up of a roll of Hundreds.
"Maybe Lagneto's not as bad as his rep."
"This way, sweet-thing," Master Blaster told her, tugging her towards her cell. "It's a shame you went bad, cutie. We coulda had something."
"Maybe we still can, studly," she purred softly, batting her eyelashes in his face. Master Blaster gulped, before opening one of the cells.
"Sorry, babe. I don't date net.villains. Even ones as good looking as you."
"Maybe you shou-*oof*!" she stated, as she "tripped" over a broken spot on the floor. She leaned against him, and relaxed, giving him an ample feel of her against him.
Master Blaster turned a touch red, and turned to his compatriot. "Look, FO, why don't you head back upstairs. I think I can handle this myself."
Pervert, Skunk Girl thought to herself.
"Okee." The Forgetting One turned and walked back towards the elevator. He stopped about halfway there. "Where was I going?"
"Back upstairs!"
"Okee." The forgetting One disappeared into the elevator.
"Now, where were we?" Master Blaster asked.
Skunk Girl leaned up and kissed him lightly on the lips. "You were letting me out of these shackles. They're terrible for what we have in mind."
A press of a button later, and Skunk Girl stepped out of the shackles. "That's better. Now, let's have some fun!" She leaned in closer to him, pulling him into the prison cell.
Master Blaster could not believe his luck. Those Mr. Manly lessons he'd been listening to daily on the radio had finally paid off. He pulled Skunk Girl closer to him, if that was possible, kissing her face, starting to edge his way downwards.
Seconds later, Master Blaster howled in pain, as a knee was rammed right into a certain portion of his male anatomy. Taking advantage of his situation, she slammed the palm of her wrist against the middle of his chest, driving the air from his lungs. She then slammer her fist against his chin, and he dropped. The sounds of glass breaking filled the room.
"Heh. Mister Macho has a glass jaw. Now let's find my armor and get out of here."
Grabbing one of his many Really Big Guns[tm], she locked Master Blaster in the cell, and ran for the elevator.
"o/~ ... Life's a piece of $#!t / when you look at it. / Life's a laugh and death's a joke / it's true. o/~
CLONK!
"It coulda been worse," he muttered. "I coulda been stabbed."
Thwurmp!
BRL fell to the floor as Skunk Girl tossed a monkey wench onto the table. She dragged him out of her way, and started putting on the armor.
The artist took his time drawing this scene, focussing on each piece, making sure all the poses were suggestive.
Skunk Girl studied herself in the wall mirror, striking a final full-page cheesecake shot for the fanboys to drool over.
Tiring of posing for the artist, she scanned the room for a quick getaway vehicle. Grinning, she mounted the Huffy roadbike that had a JATO pack attached to it. Slinging the Really Big Gun[tm] over her back, she pedalled out the garage door.
"Down the hall, take the elevator to room 1105."
"Thanks."
Shake-N-Bake Lass, the Incredible Man-With-No-Life, and CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE ran down the hallway, and hopped into an elevator.
Seconds later, a loud scream echoed through the building, as CAP'N CAPS reacted to the elevator music. There was a loud crunch! from the elevator, and the music fell silent.
The trip passed in silence, until the doors opened on the 11th floor.
"We're here," IMWNL mentioned. "But where are we?"
The trio was in a large office floor. The standard Dilbert-esque cubicles were conspicously absent. Instead, half the room was dominated by various technical devices, computers, and filing cabinets.
"Spread out," Betty told the others. "This is where the phone book said the Net.amorph's office was, so there's gotta be something here implicating him in the Living Monotone's murder."
"RIGHT!"
"Oh, and CAP? Keep it quiet for a change."
"RIGHT!"
"Did you see a trio of people come in here, two men and a woman, one of the men wearing an outlandish red and yellow caped costume, the woman with a rolling pin in a holster?"
"Yes," came the reply. "I sent them up to room 1105."
"Thanks."
Keyen raced down the hallway, and, not bothering to wait for the elevator, ran up the stairs.
"Fearless! What are you doing down there?"
Johnny Fearless muttered something through his gag.
"Wait a minute while I remove this gag."
RIP!
For the only time in his career, Fearless stopped the voiceover to scream in pain.
"You were saying?" she asked.
"I had wondered how long it would take for someone to remove that infernal gag. Four days was long enough. I wondered how the a.outSiders had found me."
"Will you knock off that idiotic voiceover? We were looking for anything that would link him to the Monotone's death. Sheer dumb luck I looked in here."
"I understood completely." He looked around. "I wondered if Shake-N-Bake Lass would be willing to untie me."
"*d'oh!*" She quickly untied his binds. "That better?"
"That did the trick. I felt much better once she untied me."
Their heads turned as Keyen raced into the room.
"Okay, guys, she's in the LNH custody." He looked right at Fearless. "Who're you?"
"He's a friend," Betty told him. "How did you find us?"
"I listened for CAP to open his mouth."
"Good thing he did, too," came a voice from behind them. Everyone turned to face the elevator. "It saved me the trouble of hunting him down."
A figure stepped out of the shadows.
"YOU?!" CAP'N CAPS yelled.
Brian Hollenbrook took one look at the pair, and sighed.
Three weeks undercover, he thought to himself, and still no sign of Lagneto. What's he waiting for? He glanced at Aili. And what'll happen when he spots Aili? Don't go there, Brian. She's already manifesting powers. If Lagneto learns that, who knows what he would do to exert control over her. Maybe even... fight the LNH for custody?
He glanced down at a newspaper clipping, entitled "Lagneto Stops Fight. Villain? Or Misunderstood Hero?"
It was bad enough when Acton Lord revealed himself as being behind the anti-net.hero movement. Now Lagneto's doing this. And how does this Gary Petrol fit in?
"GOTCHA!" Aili half-carried, half-dragged her quarry over to Brian's locker. "Now, Gary, what do you say to someone when you use your 'special abilities' in a practical joke on my boyfriend?"
"I'm sorry," Gary muttered. "It was wrong of me to soak your gym locker."
"Apology accepted," Brian told him. "Let him go, Aili. We got class in a minute, and we'd best get going."
"You... you... BITCH!" Shake-N-Bake Lass yelled, Lightcycle and IMWNL attempting to hold her back. "I'll murderize you!"
"I think not, my dear Ms. Crockett," a plain-clothed man stated, materializing in a chair. "You see, Stacy and I have been partners for a long while. Years, even. I had no intention of killing the Living Monotone. You see, one of you was the intended target. Stacy, kill them."
"With pleasure." She squeezed the trigger....