a.outSiders #7

Pullemouttayerhat Productions
Proudly (?) Presents

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#7: The LSDHOOD Strikes!

cover: Same as the first issue, with the exception that the figures are Sig.Lad, Lost Cause Boy, Living Monotone, and Flatulence Lad. With the exception of Sig.Lad, they all look like reanimated corpses, with half- decayed flesh falling off them.

Continued from last issue:

"Well," Skunk Girl commented, "there's only one place to go next. We have to return to Net.ropolis."

"Don't tell me we're freeing the Oozelfinch," SNB Lass groaned.

"Not yet. We need to contact Fearless."

Climbing into the stolen flight.thingee, the a.outSiders failed to notice four figures hiding in the shadows behind them.

"Is that them?" one of the shadowy figures asked, as the flight.thingee lifted off the ground.

"yes," came the flat reply.

"Okay. As we planned...."

IMWNL settled into the pilot's chair. Behind him, Stacy tried to relax, until something caught her senses.

"Listen! You smell something?"

"LSDHOOD! ATTACK!"

Turning in their seats, the a.outSiders nearly double-taked.

"Who the hell are you?!" Keyan asked, bewildered.

"Aw, c'mon! I haven't been dead that long, have I? I'm Sig.Lad, beside me are Flatulence Lad, Lost Cause Boy, and -"

"Living Monotone!" Stacy exclaimed. "The one whose death we got framed for! Just what's going on here?! And why do you all smell so RANK!?!"

"you killed me," the "corpse" identified as the Living Monotone intoned. "your hands were on the gun that killed me."

"Your trying to clear your names is a lost cause," Lost Cause Boy warned. "It is a study in futility. So says Lost Cause Boy of the Legion of Sorta Dead Heroes, Obviously Over Decayed."

"Shut up!" SNBLass yelled, swinging her Rolling Pin of Doom[tm]. There was a squishy CRUNCH!, and LCBoy's skull caved in like an over ripe cantolope. Looking at the ooze adhering to her Pin[tm], SNBLass made a sour face.

"This'll never wash off! Oh well... no brain, no pain."

"IT'S SHAKE-N-BAKE! AND I HELPED!" CAP'N CAPS shouted, slamming a fist into Flats's head. There was a loud BRAAAAAAAAAP, and the stench of a thousand camels' armpits flooded the flight.thingee's passenger compartment.

"YUCK!" SNBLass yelled. "And I thought Skunky smelled terrible. I'm tired of being attacked for no reason. a.outSiders, let's hand these corpses their heads. Literally!"

"Now yer talkin' my language, lady," Lightcycle commented. Pulling a glowing blue disk out from behind him, he flung it at Sig.Lad. To everyone's amazement, it just passed right through him.

"He's not a corpse!" Skunk Girl commented. "Lightcycle, he's yours. No-Lifer, you just keep this bird in the air. The rest of us, pick a dance partner."

Meanwhile, in another part of the Looniverse (Net.roit, Michig.net, to be precise):

The figure floated in the air above the closed Ame.rec.an Motors plant, a woman in a loose-fitting cloak stood below him, facing him.

"Hooded Ho`'od Win II," the man spoke in an authoritative voice, "I have need of you."

"As always, Lagneto, ever the show-off. But, since you're reforming the BoNV, the Hooded Ho`'od Win II stands by you. After all, Ho`'od Win if, say... "

"Hold that thought, Hood," Lagneto commanded. "Come, it is time to recruit the others."

Gripping the Hooded Ho`'od Win II with his lagnetic power, the pair ascended into the smog-filled Net.roit sky.

The battle was short, bloody, and smelly. Somehow, CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE knocked the flight.thingee's hatch open using Flatulence Lad, who immediately got sucked into the jet's intakes.

"This feels the Suck[tm]...." BRAP!

"YOU OOZE, YOU LOSE! ZUGZUG!"

"I think we better keep CAP away from the Net.craft machine for the next few weeks," Skunk Girl mentioned.

"Agreed," SNBLass commented. "So what do we do about Siggy there?"

Indeed, Lightcycle's battle with the Sig.Lad ghost was rather stalemated. Although Lightcycle had yet to affect the specter, Sig.Lad's Gauntlet of GIF was ineffective against Lightcycle's VRMLsuit.

"Let me try something," Stacy mentioned. "Hey, Siggy! Let's dance!"

Stepping in between Lightcycle and Sig.Lad, Skunk Girl struck a pose. Spinning around, he tail twitched under the specter's nose for an instant, then turned around to face him again.

"Now, Siggy," she said softly, her voice melodic. "I know yer a hero. Even dead, yer kind've a hunk. Now why don't you do the decent thing, and just leave. I know you really want to."

"What's she doing?" Keyan asked, a bit woozy. "She sounds so... irresistable...."

"Manipulative witch!" Sig.Lad yelled. "I've watched you manipulate this team since the beginning, using this pheromone power of yours. You've played them like a harp from Hell[tm, DVD]. I leave you to *their* tender mercies." With that, the Sig.Lad specter faded, peice by peice. When only the mouth was left visible, it spoke one last time.

"Oh, by the way, I'm really looking forward to seeing you in the afterlife. I hear the Undernet is a good place. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH--- *cough*hack*cough*! See ya around, toots!"

"I'll see you in Hell[tm] first!" Stacy screamed as the mouth disappeared.

It was then that she realized that everyone's eyes were on her; four cold, hard glares that penetrated her to the core of her being.

"What?" she asked, slipping into an annoyed tone.

"How long have you been manipulating us, Skunky?" SNBLass asked, disgustedly. "Since you killed the Living Monotone?"

"I did not kill him!"

"We'll see about that. CAP, if you would?"

"WITH PLEASURE!" A "gentle" tap on the head, and Skunk Girl was on the floor, snoring.

"Once we get to Net.ropolis," Shake-N-Bake Lass stated, "Lightcycle will hand her over to Ultimate Ninja, and explain how she used us. The rest of us will go after her partner, the Net.amorph."

Next issue:
Is Skunk Girl really Living Monotone's murderer? Is she in cahoots with Net.amorph, or is it just a misunderstanding? What will Ultimate Ninja do about the a.outSiders now? What is Lagneto's plans for the BoNV? Who else is he recruiting? And where's the Oozelfinch? And why did this short issue raise more questions than the last three longer ones put together? Well, find out next issue, which I had to call, "The Betrayal of Skunk Girl".

Special Thanks to Dave van Domelan for allowing me to use Sig.Lad, despite his being dead.