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Now, however, the LNH had found the diminutive creature on the roof, buried under a brick that had not quite found it's way back in at the end. Shell-shocked, apparently unconscious, and still with an insane grin on it's beak, the Great Oozelfinch was grabbed by Organic Lass, and carried in her palm down to the Infirmary... under the watchful eye of the Ninja.
"...and so, when Mike finally got around to asking Marcy out for a date...um, that's not important. Forget about Marcy and and whatshisname. Class dismissed."
"Nice physics class, Professor," a woman commented, walking into the room. Behind her, two men and what appeared to be a humanoid female skunk wearing a trenchcoat followed.
"Hrrmm? Oh, that's just old age. They're planning my retirement party next year. Or is it this one?"
"Keep dreaming, Professor."
"Excuse me, but you aren't in any of my classes. Who are you?"
"Perhaps you remember *me*, Professor Yoyo," the skunk replied, shedding her trenchcoat.
"Stacy! How's my favorite pupil doing? And I see you still haven't done anything about your facial hair."
"Whaddaya expect, Yoyo? I'm a skunk."
"What brings you here? I read about your... arrest. And the escape."
"I think maybe you can help us," Skunk Girl replied, leaning in close, her tail twitching in the professor's direction.
"Me? Help you?" the old man asked, starting to sway.
"Yeah," Stacy replied, leaning in even closer. "We need access to the research library."
"Anything you ask, my dear," Yoyo replied. "Follow me, kids."
"KIDS?"
"To him, Otto," the Incredible Man-With-No-Life explained, "anyone under the age of 50 is a kid."
"OH!"
"Net.heroes? Here? Kewl! I've gotta see about getting a date with that skunk girl."
Following their path through the vents, Keyan tried his best not to make a sound.
"What was that noise?" he heard.
"Just some rats, I'd say."
From the grave, a loud BRAAAAP! was heard, as a hand reached out of the ground.
In the shadows, hidden behind a tree, somebody smiled.
"It was obvious," Fearless intoned to himself, "that this man, who had apparently impersonated Ultimate Ninja to get at me, was a major Star Wars Fan, even to the point of using bad Darth Vader dialogue."
"KNOCK OFF THAT STUPID VOICE-OVER!"
"He wanted me to stop my voice-over, but the request was impossible. The Union had altered my brain to insure trade loyalty."
"ARGH! Just answer the question!"
"He wanted to know where the a.outSiders were. But I couldn't give him an answer he'd be able to use, as I did not know their location myself."
"Fine! Be that way! I'll get them without your help."
"I would wish this net.villain luck, but that would be a futile gesture, considering where he was going."
Gathering around the aging professor, the group watched as he drew a cloth cover off of what appeared to be a portable cannon.
"What is that?" IMWNL asked. "A GIF cannon?"
"Even better!" the professor stated proudly. "It's a VRMLaser. With it you can create a perfectly three dimensional image or environment, and cut lunchmeat without getting your hands greasy! It slices! It dices! And yet makes French Fries in sixteen million different colors!"
"I've been following the advancements in Java.tech, Professor," IMWNL remarked. "How were you able to induce the 3D aspects without disrupting the built-in security features?"
"Eh? We simply rewrote the compiler. The VRMLaser isn't cross- platform, but it'll run on a standard car battery. Only one problem. We can't get it to stop disrupting GIF.tech."
Giving her teammates a catlike grin, Stacy wandered over to the VRMLaser. "I don't think we need to worry about that, Yoyo. Would you mind showing CAP'N CAPS how to work this thing?"
"ME?!"
"Of course!" Stacy replied. "Who else can lift this thing?"
"Lift?" Yoyo asked in horror, fainting.
"Doesn't he... it... whatever! ever stop that inane warbling?!" Frat Boy slurred, chugging another beer.
"o/~ Gotta be a better life for me and you...o/~" Sing-Along Lass sang along, entering the room. "I'm here to relieve you, Frats."
"Good! You can take this torture!" he exclaimed, exiting the detention area as quickly as he could drunkenly stumble.
"Are you sure his name isn't Stumble Bum Guy?" the Great Oozelfinch enquired from his cage.
"Nah," she replied. "He has the power to make fraternity foods... basically pizza and beer. So what verse were we on?"
"Hai! There's been a rumor going around that Lagneto is planning on starting up a new Brotherhood of Net.Villains," the Ninja was careful not to refer to Lagneto as Pizza Girl's father, "recruiting young people like yourself to train them. One such candidate is a freshman at Net.ropolis Central. I've arranged for you to transfer into that class, to keep an eye on him."
The Ninja tossed Aili a manila folder. "His name is Gary Petrol."
Taking a quick glance inside the folder, Aili commented, "He's a nerd! If I go on this case, I want Brian there as well, just to keep face."
Sighing behind his mask, the Ninja nodded. He just hoped Bizarre Boy didn't nuke the school in the process of defending Pizza Girl, whether she needed it or not.
"No problem, Betty," IMWNL mentioned. "While the professor was showing the VRMLaser's controls to CAP'N CAPS, I took the time to raid the library. I had plenty of time, too."
"Having no life, that must be easy," Skunk Girl muttered.
"And being a natural speed-reader helped. Anyways, I narrowed it down to a handful of net.villains. One is Myron Feebles, net.hero impersonator. Professor Perhap is also on the list. Same with Karmic Death, only this doesn't fit his M.O. The final candidate is a little- known net.villain known only in some circles as the Net.amorph."
"What was that name?" Skunk Girl asked, her eyes widening.
"The Net.amorph. Why do you ask?"
"That's our scumbag." This comment drew looks from the rest of the a.outSiders.
"ARE YOU SURE?!"
"Definitely. We have some... history."
"The Writer has to get around to writing your origin sometime," SNBLass grumbled.
"Same with yours, Betty. At least I was named after one of his friends."
As CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE lifted the VRMLaser into the flight.thingee's cargo hold, a flash of neon-blue light shot toward them out of nowhere. Caught completely off guard, Skunk Girl, SNBLass, and IMWNL were surrounded by shimmering walls of blue luminesience.
"HUH?" CAP'N CAPS bellowed, swinging the VRMLaser around, looking for a target.
"Behind you, pal," a voice called. Spinning, CAP'N CAPS levelled the gun, prepared to fire at... nothing? Feeling a tap on his shoulder he spun again. Once more he found nothing to shoot at.
"Otto! Get us out of here!" IMWNL yelled from inside the prison of light.
"No way!" a voice yelled. Streaking in from the horizon a shaft of light formed a wall along the ground, terminating at the back of a young man in what appeared to be a computerized outfit.
"WHAT ARE YOU?" CAP demanded. "A REFUGEE FROM TRON?"
"Huh? Oh! the outfit. Yeah, well, the movie did inspire the idea. The name's Lightcycle, and you're not going anywhere with that VRMLaser without answering a few questions!"
"Forget about him, CAPS! Get us outta here!" Skunk Girl shouted.
"RIGHT! WHICH BUTTON WAS THAT AGAIN?"
From behind the lightwalls came a collective groan.
Launching himself into the air, CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE hovered above the battlefield. Hitting buttons at random on the VRMLaser, he aimed in Lightcycle's general direction. A multicolored barrage of cones, spheres, cylinders, and boxes launched themselves from the VRMLaser. A neon pink sphere bonked Lightcycle in the face, shortly followed by chartruse boxes, nagenta cones, and puke-green cylinders. The shapes confused the young net.ahuman, and he stumbled, crashing into his own solid lightwalls. As he lost consciousness, the walls de-rezzed.
"Nice shooting, Tex," Stacy commented, effecting a southern drawl.
"MY NAME'S OTTO, NOT TEX!"
"What are going to do with him?" IMWNL asked, indicating Lightcycle.
"Might as well bring him along," Skunk Girl stated. "We can't leave him here to blab to the LNH about us."
Dragging the unconscious youth into the flight.thingee, Shake-N- Bake Lass muttered, "This is gonna be a loooong flight."
Skunk Girl, Shake-N-Bake Lass, the Great Oozelfinch, Johnny Fearless, Net.amorph, and Lightcycle are mine.
Incredible Man-With-No-Life and CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE are Public Domain, Reserved by me for the duration of a.outSiders.
Professor Yoyo Kuriwasa, Sing-Along Lass, and Frat Boy are Public Domain.
Pizza Girl owned by Martin Phipps
Ultimate Ninja is wReam's
The VRMLaser and Java.tech are figments of my imagination, products of creating too many web pages, but Java.tech may be used by anyone.